Ex-boss said something the other day about me being human after all…. go figure. I bet Jeff would like to argue that sometimes, right?
Feeling kind of down and out …. I mean, there’s lots of things I’m excited about I guess, but the transfer to another store is kind of wearing me out. And there’s only so much I can say and complain about before I start to annoy even myself.
What the hell, I’ll bitch some more. I think the worst part is that I had a great support group and team at the old place. Now I’ve got to make new friends and everything. Trust me, I’m not trying to impress anyone. If you like what I do, then cool. If not, then tell me what I need to be doing instead. Seriously, I’m an outsider, and I kind of want to stay that way. But I’m smart and a hard worker, so use me, damn it! You pay me too much for me to just sling freight. But don’t expect miracles. I’m only human.

Today I had one of those moments where I set the alarm, locked the front doors, sat in my car, and for a second – a really long and thoughtful second – I planned an escape east towards ….. utah. Or whatever the heck state borders us. I haven’t had one of those moments in almost a year, but there it was – that fight or flight response I have when things get overwhelming. But I lit a cigarette instead, turned the ignition, and drove home instead.
I like night time traffic better sometimes because you can’t tell how fast you’re going until you check the speedometer and the needle is creeping towards, hitting, then passing the 90 mark. Nice….

Got home in record time and all the cars were here but only mother was actually home. Didn’t say a word to her as I made myself a sandwich, sat down, and played with Toby for a bit before taking it to my room downstairs. I don’t think of it as holding a grudge anymore, this unwillingness on my part to converse with either parent. I just think they’re being petty and are therefore not worth my time or affection. {{{Lose my love. I dare you.}}}

*Sigh* At least I have new crack to occupy myself with.