July 6, 2007
-
How horrible dreams can be; how horrid and cruel.
Last night, I dreamt that you came back to us. Uncertain of intentions, both of you looked at each other with suspicion tinged with hope. The things you said – more like images you flashed into my brain – were of some unnamed pain. But I responded with such sharp and keening despair, exploding your doubts and hesitations into shards and shrapnel.
I woke up feeling that all was good,
all was well,
that my storm of fears and hope had washed away the rubble of past wars between you.But each waking movement gave me weight until I felt like Atlas, with the world between my shoulder blades, its shadow on my face.
She is pregnant, but she will not be keeping it. How can she, when she has no money, and it was … unplanned.
She is young, but she feels so very old. Too young to start a family, but too old to get married. Strange ….The arrangements will be made before she can hear the first heartbeat.
