July 20, 2006

• The Suit

  For Leo

  The bathing suit, the swim suit…..Clothing in general reminds me of
  AP Bio in High School. We had this teacher – and I had a raging crush
  on her deliciously tantalizing mind – once told us that a thesis should
  be “Like a woman’s skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short
  enough to be interesting.”

  I see this philosophy echo in how I dress years later. I don’t
  consciously put forth the effort of holding control over my center of
  power, but it manifests in the way I choose clothing that Feels Good.
  Clothing that Feels Comfortable. I don’t go through the mall looking
  for what’s In Style – I make my own style. I don’t leaf through
  magazines to see Who is wearing What. I see something that Is Mine.

  Do I miss wearing high heels and power suits to work? Sometimes – but
  it’s because that’s a part of my life that is now over, and it is
  natural to grieve for it. Do I feel shameful wearing pajamas and
  walking barefoot to the mailbox kiosk? No, because the sun feels good
  on my shoulders, and the pavement feels alive under my feet.

  Then does it really reflect how I interact with men – you know, the way
  I dress. Does it show that I am independent, sloppy, childish
  sometimes, selfish; or does it simply mean I am comfortable in my own
  skin – that appearances are not paramount in the relationship, that
  time spent together over breakfast wouldn’t be wasted on me nagging
  about crooked ties?

  Don’t get me wrong, I value the appearance I put forth to the world. It
  is, after all, the first line of defense. But if you think about it
  that way then, wouldn’t you want to keep your secret weapons secret?

  Ah, don’t mind me….. I think I’ve had too much ice cream for the my brain.

  • 1:18 am
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